Sunday, July 17, 2011

Peanut Butter and Dinosaur Jelly Pizza....What?

Wanna see a REAL hot potato!

Yeah Girl!!  Work that tater!  So my buddy Jason picked this up at the market in New's not photo shopped I swear....he doesn't know how to do that....nor do I. 

This must be what Eric Carmen was singing about on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack!
"Hungry look at you and I'm craving some fries"  Ha ha!!

I guess you'll think twice next time you are at the market and  you eat a couple of grapes before you pay for them!  She's watching!

So I delivered a cake to "only God knows where" Georgia last month and I hit the jack pot!  A new market!!!!

That's right.  The Cobb International Farmer's Market....or as I like to call it....the mother ship!
Let's do it!

The first sign I see when I walk through the door is a "sure sign" that this place is not concerned for my safety...
Read it....

Okay, I'm clearly wearing sneakers!  What about me? Is it my fault I don't like to parade around a store with open toes....I'm not trying to get "grocery store feet"....if you don't know what that is I'm sad for you....I blame your Grandmother. Really I do.

This sign should read "Attention customers wearing sneakers....feel free to bust your ass in any aisle of the store. Thanks, Management."  Look,  I don't have a whole lot of ass to be busting (it's genetic), but the little I have would like to stay on my lower back and away from the floor!

Okay let's shop already!

Weeeeeeeeeeee!  LOOK!!!

How fun is this! a gift from baby Jesus!  Totally getting this.

And THIS could be the most confused fruit ever....

Is this named after those jeans?   Oh wait that's Apple Apple Banana Jeans would be a whole different story if you know what I mean. If Apple Bottoms are for Baby Got Back then Apple Banana Jeans would be for Baby got Front!  Ha ha....God I hope those are for men.....

Okay I grabbed a couple more things and it's time to cook!!!

Here is the recipe....

Dinosaur Jelly

2 cups dinosaur plums, chopped
1 cup sugar
1 T. lemon or orange juice

note:  most of the time jelly or jam recipes call for pectin which helps the mixture to "gel" when it is cooked....but it can be hard to find so we are gonna skip it....

Look at that little nugget!
So first we have to break them down.
-Peel them...

Ugh that was peeling a giant eyeball...
-Now remove the pits and chop them up...

Okay we are ready...

-First you want to cook the plum and juice in a small sauce pan for 5 minutes or so to break them up a little...

Like this...
-Now add the sugar...

and cook for about an hour or will reduce and look like preserves....which would make this "Dinosaur preserves"  but I wanna call it Dinosaur Jelly....and it's my blog dammit...

Looks like someone spit in there!

-Now let it cool and jar it up...

Okay that can't be the only recipe this week.....too simple. I also have the apple bananas and I grabbed this guy...

It's Chinese broccoli and I have never cooked it.

I have decided to make pizza!  Move over Papa John....

Gailan Pizza

1 Nature's Own Multigrain Sandwich Round (for the crust)
1 bunch Gailan, rough chop
1/2 of a white onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
salt and pepper to taste
water to simmer


Parmesan cheese (about 1/2 cup)
1 cup cherry tomatoes, chopped
1 T. chopped garlic
fresh parsley
fresh basil
salt and pepper
1 T. olive oil
splash Balsamic vinegar

Okay first we need to cook the Gailan.
-Saute the onions and garlic in olive oil for a few minutes....just to soften...

-Now add the Gailan and fill the pan half way with water....

-Now cover the pan and cook on medium heat for about an hour....or until it's fork tender...

Here's what it should look like.....

Yes Ma'am!
- Now strain the liquid off and cool!

Let's make the topping...

I didn't give a measurement for the herbs so here is a picture of about how much you need.

Oh look who showed up to help chop...
My ass!  Brady loves tomatoes....and I have been known to drop them on the floor....especially cherry tomatoes. Those babies are tough to chop....but....they are crucial for the topping...

-Put all "topping" ingredients into a bowl and stir

Let's make a pizza!!!

Actually....let's make TWO!!!  I think that Dino Jells needs to make a cameo!!!

-Take two of the buns and open them. (these flat buns are great for burgers as well )
-Then, on the two savory buns, brush them with olive oil, salt and pepper.
-And for the dessert.....butter and cinnamon sugar....

-Now toast them in the oven until they are crispy and slightly browned....

Okay lets build the savory one first....

-Top the savory crust with the Gailan and a little parm cheese and place back in the oven just to melt...

-Now pile on some of the tomato salad topping we made and you are done:))))

Yum!!!!! A little late night snack for Mom and Dad after the kids go to bed.
So delicious, it can only lead to one thing......a little "brown chicken, brown cow" if you know what I mean!

If you feed your kids the following, however.....they will never go to sleep.

Peanut Butter and Dinosaur Jelly Pizza

-Start by spreading a little peanut butter on the dessert crust

-Now add a little of the Dino Jelly we made before....

More! More! More! 
Okay, what else goes with this's time to raid the cabinet!!!
Fluff!!!  I am probably the only person on earth who "just so happens" to have homemade marshmallow fluff just lying around.  It'll teach y'all how to make it soon....super fun....

Oh wait....the Apple Bananas!!!

And maybe a little granola! 
Or is that too much.....Shut Up!

The granola is homemade too!  I'm a freak!

-and as for the finishing touch....

Oh no you didn't!  OH YES....I....DID!!!  Whip cream and rainbow Jimmies...bitcheeeees!
At this point you might as well just go put this in the toilet and flush.....and save yourself the trouble!
It's really effen good though!!

Okay that's all for now.  I would like to thank my buddy Jason Ellis for sending me the funny drag queen potato picture ( her name could be D'amanda Sidedish...Ha), also the Cobb International Farmers Market for discriminating against sneakers, and to one of my Twitter followers who wrote this about the Big In Japan Potato Salad


First of all maichanCA....thanks for reading and following me on Twitter. And secondly, let's pray.....
Dear BJ,
Please let people understand that this blog is intended to help motivate people to explore their local farmers market and in no way is supposed to make you smarter or thinner for that matter and that the blog is designed solely to make people laugh and is not to be taken seriously......oh and thank you for helping me get tickets to Adele...super excited....oh and that whole "rash" thing we talked about last week?....totally rock!  Amen....

One more thing.....speaking of "Chinese stuff" ....look at this...
I'm calling Gloria Allred!!!   Geeez!....oh but don't get their Stay at Home Mom Teriyaki Glaze....its totally bitter.....

Thanks all for now.....hold please!


  1. So what do the unadorned apple bananas taste like? And yes, please share the homemade fluff recipe!

  2. excuse am I just now learning you are on twitter! BOOOO ! I blame Jason for not sharing the love! Once again great blog, tell Karen not to work you so hard so you can do more blogs, on the other hand you would have never found this market, ok get back to work!


  3. The apple bananas actually kind of taste like an apple and a banana had a baby! I will do something with marshmallow making soon. Thanks Maria

  4. I must confess, I love sitting down & reading your blog posts. Not only are they hilarious, but it does help give me some good ideas as far as cooking goes. [I love experimenting with food]. & I just adore Brady... But who doesn't? Haha. Good job! & post more blogs.


  5. You are a blogging genius!!! Again, I laughed out loud!!!

    Please keep em coming.... Pretty soon I'm going have to start sponsoring your