Give me some skin Buddha!

Weekends at the Farmer's Market are awful! Seriously, I usually go on Mondays when no one is around...but this week I went on Sunday. I would rather run through Hell wearing gasoline panties before i do that again!

The plus side though is that on weekends they do samples! Yay!  As a self proclaimed "fat girl trapped in a white boy's body" I do not pass up food:)

But speaking of being a white boy, it's not easy to get a sample around here! Look....

This woman for instance, is selling cheese called Fud. First of all, what the Fud were they thinking when they named this.  Secondly, I stood there for a good five minutes while see spoke Spanish to the other vendor and didn't even acknowledge me!  Granted I was taking pictures of her... but still! And then this other woman (who was not a white boy) walked up and ....

Oh now we are working!  That is not my delicate, graceful arm reaching out to receive my free sample. Oh no.  She is just giving my cheese away...."here you are ma'am, this is your prize for being bilingual"! What the Fud...and they were all like that...let me introduce you to....

The burrito bully!

The taco Nazi!

This woman was sitting down and texting! Hey! Those quesadillas won't cook themselves! I'm hungry.  Can you text me some guacamole!

This girl was really sweet, but her Black Sesame Soy Milk tasted like a skin. Gross!

And this lady wasn't even endorsing a product! She was just cooking stir fry for no reason. I'm totally setting up a table next week.....although I don't think these people will take my Klassy Cupcakes seriously.

And lastly....the prepackaged meal that brings me back to college....

Ramen Noodles....ugh.  The Japanese version tastes exactly the same as the American kind....like salt water and fake chicken:( (insert little baby dry heave here)

Okay. Let's shop.

I have been on a mission since I started Farmer's Market Finds to find a certain strange citrus fruit.

Behold....

Buddha's Hand!!!!  It's like a pile of fingers....sounds like fun! Gross, you shouldn't say things like that....this is a family show, dammit!

 I have been so intrigued by this ever since I had Hanger One Citron Vodka....it's made with Buddha's Hand!

So Buddha's hand comes to us from India and China and basically it's an ugly, dry lemon!  It's all rind....but intense in citrus flavor....

Stop pointing!....Rude!

It differs from lemon in flavor as well.  It has a floral note that can't be tasted in lemons.

The thing is...I have no idea what to cook...

Buddha what do you think?

Mushrooms!  Yeah!

Yes I'll have a bite.  Thanks Boods!
Wow my skin looks all freckly and weird in this picture!  Sure.....that's what is weird about this picture!;)

So I think I'm gonna make stuffed mushrooms!  Let's cut this open first and look inside...

Oh GOD!! Buddha, I am so sorry! Shit we're gonna need a Band-aid.....more like a whole Hand-aid!
Just kidding!  So if life gives you lemons and you make lemonade....then Buddha's Handaid is what you make if life gives you this thing. Right? God, shut up! Is it natural to annoy your own self.....it's a daily struggle.

Okay for real....you have to zest this puppy with a micro plane...

Eww! That's some major exfoliation!

Let's cook!!!!

Here is the recipe....

Buddha's Stuffed Mushrooms

1 large container of button mushrooms (about 20)
1t. garlic
1/4 of a yellow onion (chopped finely)
1T. Buddha's hand zest
1 cup whole white lump crab (Oh yeah)
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste
dash of white wine to deglaze

Butter:
1 stick butter
1/4 cup olive oil
1 T Buddha's hand zest

Okay!
So the first thing we have to do is wash the mushrooms and take off the stems.
Then you want to heat a little olive oil in a pan and add the garlic, onion, stems, zest, and little salt and pepper.

We are gonna let this saute for a few minutes and then deglaze the pan and with a little white wine....

And then let the whole thing cook for about 10 minutes or until everything is tender.....

Now at this point you want to put this in food processor and plus a few times.....but because I know not everyone has a food processor....I'm gonna cool it....and then chop it finely....

Now add this to the remaining ingredients and stir well....

And then stuff the mushrooms....

Yum! Now let's make the Buddha's Hand butter........they should sell that at Sephora;)
So all you do is put all three ingredients in a pot and simmer for 10 minutes or so.....just to infuse the flavor!

Now pour the butter over the mushrooms and bake at 350 for about 15 minutes.....

Oh wait! Don't put them away yet! I'm not done!  This looks like exhibit A from CSI India!

Let's make a drink!!! Here is the recipe!

Buddha's Hand-gria (lol, it's not really sangria......but the name is funny)

1 glass (6 oz) Sweet white wine (or dry white wine with a bit of simple syrup or a pack of splenda)
1 T. Buddha's Hand juice
soda water


Okay so they say you can't juice this thing! Well Jack Lalanne will beg to differ!

First chop it into smaller pieces....

And then run it through the juicer.....

So the juice is tart and bitter but that's okay....we only use a bit..

Mix the wine (or dry wine and Splenda) and hand juice first....

Then split between two wine glasses, fill with ice, and then top with soda! Yay!

I garnished the drinks with strawberry because it seemed better than the alternative....

Esssscuse me sir!  I had fount a octopus in my drink! I wont my muney back!

Somebody should punch me!

So before I go I would like to say Happy Birthday to my little baby dog Brady!  He turned 9 and he's very protective of his birthday gifts!

Geez Brady! 
He did get some nice presents!

Treats! Yay!

Okay that's all for now....

Thanks Buddha!!

He's always drunk!

Hold please.....