Chicken and Pumplins

Hey boos! 

Sorry I've been out for a while.  I was growing this...

Yes friends....that is a real mustache.....your welcome
Anyway, the sad part is that by the time you read this I will probably have shaved it off.  Seriously, it's like someone glued a baby kitten to my face.

Okay....so I decided to check out the farmer's market in Decatur, GA.  It's the DeKalb Farmers Market....or so I thought.....

Ha.  This place is totally mine....I had no idea....

So before we look around can I just say that I had a blog post all ready to go about a month ago.  Oh yea, it was a recipe "inspired" by a Jamie Oliver dish (and by inspired I mean borrowed....and by borrowed I mean...I stole it) 
Anyway....the point of the story is..... I take all of my notes and photos with my phone....aaaaaannnnnddd my phone went to live with Jesus....so that post is gone for all eternity:(

So this is my new phone's first trip to the market.  She was so excited she took this picture by accident...

So I guess we are having pumpkin:)

 Okay look I didn't choose...it was the mustache.....I know pumpkin is not something I have never cooked or seen but it's October.....and I plan to use it in a new and exciting way...I swear:)

I'm gonna make pumpkin dumplings....actually I am making a southern fave....Chicken and Dumplings or....Chicken and Pumplins....as I call it!

But for real there are like a million different kinds of pumpkins here....

Woh....does that sign say "strawberry corn"....holy crap I need this in my life!  If only my chicken and pumplins could be served with strawberry cornbread...but the bin is empty....and so is my heart:( It's like I just found out I was having a birthday party and it got cancelled!....but those little nugget pumpkins are coming home with me:)

Okay so all I need is a chicken and we are out....

I got a small Pie Pumpkin for the dumplings....they are a little sweeter.  First we need break him down and roast this baby....

Cut him in half



                                                
Scoop out the seeds and guts.....Don't throw this away....you can toast them...

Then place both sides face down in a pan of shallow water.....looks like they are in time out...

Bake the pumpkin at 400F for about 1 hr...cool it...and then scoop out the insides....it should be soft like canned pumpkin....

Now let's cook the chicken....

I have always seen people make "beer can chicken" but I have never tried it...so now seems like the perfect time....here's the problem...

I only have this really gay soda from France and Canada.

Sooooo...."mason jar chicken" it is...

First I take a mason jar and add 2 bullion cubes and some water...and place it in the middle of a metal or glass pan....

now rub your chicken down with olive oil and seasonings (of your choice) and place him on the jar...

Hey this looks familiar.....

Oh God....it got too real!  We need to pray

Dear Jesus,
a.) I am sorry for killing this chicken
b.) I am also sorry for comparing the chicken to my baby dog
and
c.) Please take good care of my phone.  Oh and don't look through the pictures....and if you already did then just know that those strippers came over for bible study....the rest was not my idea.
Amen

So back to the chicken.  Cook the bird just like the pumpkin....400 for 1 to 1 1/2 hours....or until a thermometer inserted reads higher than 145....


Let's check on her.....

Oh i think she's laying an egg!

Okay now we have to make the Pumplin batter....

Pumplins

1 c. all purpose flour

1/3 c. cornmeal

2 tsp. baking powder

1/3 cup buttermilk

1 egg

1/2 cup pumpkin

salt and pepper to taste

dash of nutmeg

Basically you just whisk all this together and set aside...

Now let's put it all together!!!!

Chicken and Pumplings

Broth:
one onion diced
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 cup celery
1 cup pumpkin
1/8 cup apple cider vinegar
4 cups chicken stock

 First saute the pumpkin in a little olive oil until it starts to brown....

Then add the other veggies and cook until they are soft....

 Add the vinegar and chicken stock and cook for about 30 minutes.....
while the soup is boiling, add dumplings one tablespoon at a time....

 They will float and should be cooked a few at a time while leaving the cooked ones in the pot...

Yum!!!  Let's plate it up.  Oh I served it with the chicken separate and with roasted veggies....

Yay!  My chicken and pumplins!!!!  so good!

Well I would like to thank my new phone for keeping track of pictures and notes.  I would also like to thank the girl at the Apple store who discovered that my phone went to live with Jesus because it was full of glitter and sugar (true story)....but what  a way to die right....speaking of death...I would also like to thank Demonica....

for scaring me not once, but twice at the Halloween store in front of everyone

That's right they put two of this horrible bitch out and I managed to run into both and I'm still mad about it. Note to the Halloween store.....you start selling underwear;)

Oh the mustache wanted me to tell you he wasn't scared....just the rest of me....bullshit!

That's all for now....hold please....

Peanut Butter and Dinosaur Jelly Pizza....What?

Wanna see a REAL hot potato!

Yeah Girl!!  Work that tater!  So my buddy Jason picked this up at the market in New York.....it's not photo shopped I swear....he doesn't know how to do that....nor do I. 

This must be what Eric Carmen was singing about on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack!
"Hungry eyyyyes....one look at you and I'm craving some fries"  Ha ha!!

I guess you'll think twice next time you are at the market and  you eat a couple of grapes before you pay for them!  She's watching!


So I delivered a cake to "only God knows where" Georgia last month and I hit the jack pot!  A new market!!!!

That's right.  The Cobb International Farmer's Market....or as I like to call it....the mother ship!
Let's do it!

The first sign I see when I walk through the door is a "sure sign" that this place is not concerned for my safety...
Read it....

Okay, I'm clearly wearing sneakers!  What about me? Is it my fault I don't like to parade around a store with open toes....I'm not trying to get "grocery store feet"....if you don't know what that is I'm sad for you....I blame your Grandmother. Really I do.

This sign should read "Attention customers wearing sneakers....feel free to bust your ass in any aisle of the store. Thanks, Management."  Look,  I don't have a whole lot of ass to be busting (it's genetic), but the little I have would like to stay on my lower back and away from the floor!

Okay let's shop already!

Weeeeeeeeeeee!  LOOK!!!

How fun is this!...like a gift from baby Jesus!  Totally getting this.

And THIS could be the most confused fruit ever....

Is this named after those jeans?   Oh wait that's Apple Bottom...so Apple Banana Jeans would be a whole different story if you know what I mean. If Apple Bottoms are for Baby Got Back then Apple Banana Jeans would be for Baby got Front!  Ha ha....God I hope those are for men.....

Okay I grabbed a couple more things and it's time to cook!!!

Here is the recipe....

Dinosaur Jelly

2 cups dinosaur plums, chopped
1 cup sugar
1 T. lemon or orange juice

note:  most of the time jelly or jam recipes call for pectin which helps the mixture to "gel" when it is cooked....but it can be hard to find so we are gonna skip it....

Look at that little nugget!
So first we have to break them down.
-Peel them...

Ugh that was gross....like peeling a giant eyeball...
-Now remove the pits and chop them up...

Okay we are ready...

-First you want to cook the plum and juice in a small sauce pan for 5 minutes or so to break them up a little...

Like this...
-Now add the sugar...

and cook for about an hour or so....it will reduce and look like preserves....which would make this "Dinosaur preserves"  but I wanna call it Dinosaur Jelly....and it's my blog dammit...

Looks like someone spit in there!

-Now let it cool and jar it up...

Okay that can't be the only recipe this week.....too simple. I also have the apple bananas and I grabbed this guy...

It's Chinese broccoli and I have never cooked it.

I have decided to make pizza!  Move over Papa John....

Gailan Pizza

1 Nature's Own Multigrain Sandwich Round (for the crust)
1 bunch Gailan, rough chop
1/2 of a white onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
salt and pepper to taste
water to simmer

Topping

Parmesan cheese (about 1/2 cup)
1 cup cherry tomatoes, chopped
1 T. chopped garlic
fresh parsley
fresh basil
salt and pepper
1 T. olive oil
splash Balsamic vinegar

Okay first we need to cook the Gailan.
-Saute the onions and garlic in olive oil for a few minutes....just to soften...

-Now add the Gailan and fill the pan half way with water....

-Now cover the pan and cook on medium heat for about an hour....or until it's fork tender...

Here's what it should look like.....

Yes Ma'am!
- Now strain the liquid off and cool!

Let's make the topping...

I didn't give a measurement for the herbs so here is a picture of about how much you need.

Oh look who showed up to help chop...
My ass!  Brady loves tomatoes....and I have been known to drop them on the floor....especially cherry tomatoes. Those babies are tough to chop....but....they are crucial for the topping...

-Put all "topping" ingredients into a bowl and stir

Let's make a pizza!!!


Actually....let's make TWO!!!  I think that Dino Jells needs to make a cameo!!!

-Take two of the buns and open them. (these flat buns are great for burgers as well )
-Then, on the two savory buns, brush them with olive oil, salt and pepper.
-And for the dessert.....butter and cinnamon sugar....

-Now toast them in the oven until they are crispy and slightly browned....

Okay lets build the savory one first....

-Top the savory crust with the Gailan and a little parm cheese and place back in the oven just to melt...

-Now pile on some of the tomato salad topping we made and you are done:))))

Yum!!!!! A little late night snack for Mom and Dad after the kids go to bed.

So delicious, it can only lead to one thing......a little "brown chicken, brown cow" if you know what I mean!

If you feed your kids the following, however.....they will never go to sleep.

Peanut Butter and Dinosaur Jelly Pizza

-Start by spreading a little peanut butter on the dessert crust

-Now add a little of the Dino Jelly we made before....

More! More! More! 

Okay, what else goes with this pizza.....it's time to raid the cabinet!!!

 

Fluff!!!  I am probably the only person on earth who "just so happens" to have homemade marshmallow fluff just lying around.  It'll teach y'all how to make it soon....super fun....

Oh wait....the Apple Bananas!!!

And maybe a little granola! 
Or is that too much.....Shut Up!

The granola is homemade too!  I'm a freak!

-and as for the finishing touch....

Oh no you didn't!  OH YES....I....DID!!!  Whip cream and rainbow Jimmies...bitcheeeees!
At this point you might as well just go put this in the toilet and flush.....and save yourself the trouble!
It's really effen good though!!

Okay that's all for now.  I would like to thank my buddy Jason Ellis for sending me the funny drag queen potato picture ( her name could be D'amanda Sidedish...Ha), also the Cobb International Farmers Market for discriminating against sneakers, and to one of my Twitter followers who wrote this about the Big In Japan Potato Salad

maichanCA Maiko

@

@joshuajohncakes Gosh! Those stuff you listed are not Japanese stuff! It's all chinese stuff. except "Mayo" are Japanese :)



First of all maichanCA....thanks for reading and following me on Twitter. And secondly, let's pray.....

Dear BJ,

Please let people understand that this blog is intended to help motivate people to explore their local farmers market and in no way is supposed to make you smarter or thinner for that matter and that the blog is designed solely to make people laugh and is not to be taken seriously......oh and thank you for helping me get tickets to Adele...super excited....oh and that whole "rash" thing we talked about last week?....totally gone....you rock!  Amen....

One more thing.....speaking of "Chinese stuff" ....look at this...

I'm calling Gloria Allred!!!   Geeez!....oh but don't get their Stay at Home Mom Teriyaki Glaze....its totally bitter.....

Thanks all for now.....hold please!